I thought it was just a colloquialism about patience-- it is. But, four hours and 13 minutes later and this water still hasn’t started boiling. “Honey, what are you doing?” Mom says. “Trying to watch water boil.” I say, rubbing one eye then the other, deliberately maintaining eye contact. There’s a long … Continue reading Watched Pots Never Boil–Supposedly.
The first tooth came out with a simple yank. Jonathan screamed and writhed under the ropes. “Stop,” I said flatly. “You’re only going to make this harder on yourself.” I cupped his lower jaw again and dug my fingers into his cheeks between his teeth. My pliers chipped his two front teeth, and I … Continue reading Why you shouldn’t take Dave’s Lunch.
Charlene took her glasses and laid them across her still-steaming cafe au lait. She looked worse for ware. Hair drawn back in a lazy bun that sagged almost as much as the bags under her eyes. Still, she was far and away cuter than any of the other girls in here. She pulled out an … Continue reading Fffaw #134. Charlene.
Yo, are you even watching, Chevy says throwing another bottle cap at the side of my head. It rings off the arm of my glasses, plastic against metal. Fingers tighten around my shoulder and Chevy lurches up to see my screen. She’s there again. I don’t know how. Must’ve been autopilot. It’s been happening … Continue reading Her midichlorian count is off the charts.
The genie puffed his chest, his tail wavering at the mouth of the bottle. “And, what is your third wish?” Shilo frowned. What could top his first kiss? The way his entire body went numb after stealing a kiss from Eleanor Shaner under the bleachers. Shilo could’ve sworn he was floating the rest of the … Continue reading Glasses
I slink off between buildings and puke up those whiskey gingers. The cold air feels good on my face. Juxtapose to the hellish burning in my throat. The red brick feels gritty against my palms as I brace myself against the wall. I feel another round coming up, this one’s on me boys, I … Continue reading fffaw #133- The Chad drinks.
I’m on my fourth beer when Death approaches. “Hello darkness, my old friend.” I say, tossing twigs into the fire and waving a hand at the folding chair full of coors. “Take a seat, grab a beer.” “ How long’ve you been waiting to use that one?” Death says in a voice like … Continue reading Old Acquaintances
Jraw rejoined the Captain at the helm of the Exuberance, crossing paths with the new whore and the cowardly accountant on the stairs. He grinned at the whore who offered nothing in return. Jraw clenched his fingers into fists, almost losing control and laying into the bookish eyes of Mr. Schaub. Captain Morgan looked … Continue reading Jraw’s Drunken Treat.
The hall smelled of smoke and blood. The ceilings nearly grazed the top of my head. Elder Ryan sat at the far end. A portly man of fifty and seven, he didn’t look a day over 30. His deigned to look up, instead fixating on a parchment in the low torchlight as his quill scratched … Continue reading Do you know anything of Magic?
The moon had moved only slightly across the star spangled sky when Charles and the mute dipped their oars. Captain Morgan allowed the two just one lantern between them and told them not to light it until they were in position near the dock. Charles didn’t need the lantern as full as the moon was … Continue reading The Trick.