Mars: where Earth’s elite go to cut loose.

Nasa publicly dismissed accusations they maintain a martian colony of child sex slaves. In other news: the sky hasn’t fallen, and Hell’s still a toasty million fuckin’ degrees.


One of these statements above was actually newsworthy today. Yup, that’s right. A NASA spokesperson was forced to deny accusations that the agency is running a “colony of sex slaves on Mars.” Y’know, that red planet 34 million miles away. The same one Childish Gambino rescued Hollywood star Matt Damon from a few years ago.


Alex Jones, self-described top meme and infowars host, has previously backed this kidnapping space adventure conspiracy. He’s claimed that his inside sources told him. Right Alex, and my inside sources at the North pole tell me that twice a year, you and St. Nick sodomize Blitzen while the elves watch. See, I can make up ridiculous claims based in fantasy too.


I’ll be the first to admit that I contribute to the anti-Nasa echo chamber online for my own entertainment (flat earth-er’s specifically), but this is too much. Things especially get out of hand when a mouthpiece like Adam Jones gets involved. Like he says, he has an audience of millions who devour his bullshit with frantic zeal. If they get it in their head that NASA is stealing kids and flying them to Mars for the global elite’s annual control-the-economy-and-fuck-kids day, then expect a crazed wide-eyed shooter to show up at NASA’s door just like the asshole who shot up Cosmic pizza (infamous shop where the Pizzagate conspiracy supposedly took place).


With all of these insane headlines and catered sites, I’m really not sure how everyone is supposed to vet their information; endless choice means you can consume whatever fits your needs. There needs to be a higher standard for media companies who say they produce “news.” Fox, Infowars, Huffpo, MSNBC: it’s all garbage, and just because you lean in one direction doesn’t make one more or less misleading– it just makes it easier to digest. Hell, common sense would dictate that of course NASA doesn’t have a sex colony on Mars, but for people who believe that Sandy Hook was staged by the guv’ment, it’s perfectly within the bounds of reason.


I know restricting the “news” label is a bit of a reach, but will this shit ever hit a breaking point? If so, what is it?


IRS agents deny taking blood samples during audit investigations for government-funded genetic cloning experiment.


CNN dismisses accusations of using microwaves to turn viewers into rabid Clinton supporters.


Alex Jones claims billionaire George Soros is changing the strength of marijuana for nefarious purposes.


(Actually that last one is true)

What’s the new out of bounds, the line you can’t cross as a new organization, if there’s one at all?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s