They say a good foundation is everything. Who are they? Who’s to say. But that tidbit about the foundation is valuable no doubt. Whether you’re scraping at the vibrant baby blue of the sky with a magnificent tower, or constructing the most delectable of cheesecakes, foundations are everything. Today, though, we’ll be talking about the latter.
Now for the purposes of accuracy we’ll call our foundation the crust; because that’s exactly what it is. Your crust is important. It will be flakey, golden, delicious, and most importantly hold the rest of your sweet cheesey goodness together.
You’ll need a few things of course. One does not conjure perfect crust from mere air. You’ll need 9 graham crackers, 4 tablespoons of melted butter, one fourth cup of sugar, and undying faith in yourself and your culinary abilities, the latter of which cannot be bought, but cultivated through sweat and perseverance.
The first thing you’ll need to do is visualize anyone that annoys you, boils you, enrages you. Good. Now harness that power: a seething pulse running down your forearms into the tendril muscles of your fingers. Take that package of graham crackers and beat it. Utterly and completely pulverize them into a fine powdery consistency. From dust we came, and to dust we shall all return. Or something or other. Let no pieces of whole cracker remain, lest your crust be tainted with inconsistency.
Now in the mixing bowl add your melted butter. It’s the liquid gold that will act as the glue for your foundation. Without it you just have powders dry enough to choke on. Decant your cracker dust and your sugar into the bowl and become the alchemist. Mix the ingredients, carefully infusing love and precision, until you have a crumb consistency and the foundation crust is malleable.
There you have it. Now your crust is ready to be pressed into the foundation that will become your cake. Now press and knead it into your pan until the crust crests on the sides as would a wave at high tide. It is beautiful, is it not?