Worst Feeling

You know what the worst feeling in the world is?


There are some pretty bad ones out there. Like someone you trusted betraying you, loss of someone figuratively or literally, stepping on tiny rocks or legos in the dead of night are all terrible experiences in their own right. But this feeling is more common than any of those. It happens to hundreds, thousands, maybe millions of people everyday.


I’m talking about having perfect hindsight and being able to spot all of your spelling errors or what have you the moment you submit something. God it’s hideous. You’re transplanted to the front of a classroom of laughing children. They can see right through you. Point out all of your mistakes. Who are these kids. You don’t even recognize them. Are they just B roll footage your brain drags up from the cellars of your memories. Oh god now they’re laughing at your thinning hair. What is going on here?  God you’re such an idiot. Maybe you shouldn’t make so many typo’s. Ahem– thank’s self-conscious stream of consciousness.


It’s kind of crazy how sharp one’s eyes become the second that you look at something you submit something. No matter how many times you read it over, forward, backward, out loud to yourself– you almost always find something new. You think it has something to do with high stakes game of perfection that one’s brain plays? When the stakes are high and your cursor is flashing above the submit button, there are just some things you absolutely won’t catch some mistakes or missing words. Hitting that button flips a switch– and suddenly you’re a goddamn managing editor.


I don’t want to reread this so I’ll post it immediately and then find my errors.


EDIT: Don’t worry folks. I totally found a bunch. But for posterity’s sake, they’re staying up.



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