(Besides ordinary kitchen equipment) You’ll need:
- A food processor, blender, or electric mixer
- A hand juicer
- A springform pan
- Nine (9) Graham crackers
- Four (4) TBSP of softened Earth Balance vegan “butter”
- Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees F. (Yeah I realize this isn’t part of the crust, BUT IT MUST BE DONE)
- In a ziplock bag, beat the everliving shit out of the graham crackers until they are a fine crumb texture.
- Pour the crumbs into a mixing bowl with the vegan butter and combine until it reaches a uniform crumble texture.
- Spray the springform pan lightly with canola-based pan spray to prevent sticking. Lay the crumble into the pan pressing down on the bottom and building the crust up on the sides about half an inch or more.
- Two (2) containers of Tofutti-brand vegan cream cheese
- Four (4) tsp of fresh-squeezed lemon juice
- One (1) TBSP of extra-firm tofu
- Two thirds (⅔) cup of sugar
- One fourth (¼) tsp of salt
- One fourth (¼) cup of water
- Add the two containers of cream cheese to a blender and soften them up (whip that ish into non-shape.
- Add everything else and blend once again, making sure that the extra-firm tofu is completely incorporated.
- Pour the filling into the graham cracker crust and smooth out with a rubber spatula.
- Bake for 45 minutes. The cake should still be a little jiggly when you pull it out.
- Two (2) cups of strawberries
- One half (½) cup of water
- One half (½) cup of sugar
- Two (2) TBSP of cornstarch
- Add the water and just 1 cup of strawberries to the blender and combine.
- Add the sugar, cornstarch, and the mixture to a saucepan stirring over high heat. Pull from heat after the mixture darkens in color and has boiled for 1 minute
- When the cheesecake is out of the oven let it cool down for half an hour and pour the topping (which should not be boiling anymore) on top.
- Put in the fridge for four (4) hours.
- Slice the remaining strawberries and layer on top.
Betty Crocker ain’t got shit on me.