Dear Suzanne

Prompt: Write a tragic / heartbreaking goodbye letter.

 

Dear Suzanne,

 

You were my best friend, the love of my life, and my rock for quite some time. You were there when I couldn’t see a future for myself. You helped lighten some of the bleakness in my life, helped fight my depression while battling with it yourself. No matter how low either you or I felt, you always knew how to make me laugh and make the day that much more bearable.

 

And with the lows came some extraordinary highs; like graduation and getting our diplomas. I only made it out that shitstorm of an institution because of you.

 

Remember our garden? God, that was an undertaking. Remember the time, the innumerable cuts,  and the buckets of sweat we put into that goddamn rose bush? After a few weeks of trying and failing to keep the fucker alive, I came back inside in a huff and you took me by the arm and told me not to fret. You said something that stuck with me that day: If it’s meant to be, then it will be. If not, you can’t force it. That rose bush ended up wilting, even after all the work. Now it’s just a brittle mess of dried up thorns.

 

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to completely extinguish what we had, Suz. You were my first love, my first real love, that is. I remember lying awake next to you one morning about a year after we became official. I watched the way your hair fell over your face, the way your breast rose and fell with your breath and I  bit back tears at the thought of losing you. I asked myself if that was love. I still don’t know, but it was damn powerful whatever it was.

 

Sometimes I like to think “what if” had your cancer not been so aggressive. If only we had caught it sooner.  

 

I’m writing you because I’m finally doing what you told me. I’ve started seeing somebody else. Her name is Julia. She’s wonderful. I’ll spare you the specifics, but I think she and I have something special.

 

I still visit with your parents from time to time. They miss you too. We all miss you so much and hope that wherever you are, you’re healthy and loved.

 

Goodbye Suzanne

 

Love,

 

James.

 

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