Quite possibly the best song for any and every occasion.

Blondie’s “Heart of Glass” is the best song for literally any occasion. Through various semi-scientific techniques, I’ve discovered that listening to Blondie while doing anything increases productivity 15%, makes you 50% more fabulous while doing it.


I cooked up this theory yesterday while in the shower, where most of my daily deep thinking is done. About two songs into my old school punk playlist, “Heart of Glass” came on. Mental images of me doing a host of productive things like cleaning my apartment, doing the dishes, and getting a new job in an 80’s style montage exploded into my mind’s eye. It was incredible. I felt better about my day, without actually doing anything. A few songs later, when I left the shower, I did those things (less getting the job– Although I did make moves)


And I did it all, to “Heart of Glass” on repeat. Dancing may or may not have occurred.


But, as any good (social) scientist knows: one test does not necessarily prove a hypothesis. So I tried again and again. Walking to work, making muffins, showering (again). Each time I listened to “Heart of Glass,” and whatever I was doing, I did with more pizazz. It was like musical rose-tinted glasses.


That being said, I want to take this experiment even further. Blondie should be played on repeat in DMV’s around the country. Only then can we test the hypothesis on a large scale. And what better place than one of the most demoralizing places ever. If Debbie Harry can put a smile on the face of career DMV workers and put springs in their step– then we should consider deploying “Heart of Glass” into more delicate situations like family monopoly night or Israeli- Palestinian talks.


Picture credit: Skinned Minx via Flickr


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