Dave had what some might call “petty bad luck.”
Dave himself was a completely fortunate person who had most things in life going for him. He had a car, an alright job, and he didn’t constantly worry about another country’s military delivering artillery on top of his head. Yet day in and day out, Dave’s clumsiness coupled with his freakishly long limbs caused him bouts of heartache and inconvenience.
He would always go red in the face whenever he felt disturbed. Stubbed toe? Time to yell at the inanimate object at fault. Incorrectly buttoned shirt– so that when you reach the bottom one side is longer than the other– time to cuss out plastic. Stuck in traffic? Dave nearly always fell victim to normal traffic patterns. He would white knuckling the steering wheel while yelling at anyone with the audacity to make eye contact.
Today proved no different than any other day. Dave woke up, showered, and dressed as he normally did; jumping around trying to pull his pants over his wet legs. Dave would hop and jump around the room pulling at fabric until he secured his partially flabby legs into their respective pant legs. After exhausting himself with this daily dance, Dave would huddle over his coffee pot feeling its heat listening to the gurgle. In one hand he held a butter knife, slick with margarine. And in the other he held a single piece of toasted wonder bread half covered with said margarine.
The phone rang in the other room and broke Dave’s concentration.
“Who’s calling me now?” He said placing the toast and knife down on the counter.
In a huff, Dave threw himself in the direction of the living room. In his haste, his shirt and right arm swiped the toast and knocked it from the counter. Dave turned back. Alas he was too late. His toast tumbled to the ground spinning this way and that, eventually coming to a rest on the floor margarine-side down. Dave’s face flushed with scarlet.
“Fuck my fucking life.” He screamed over the ringing phone and wiping his hand on his pants.
Prompt: Write the longest story possible about 2 seconds in a character’s life